


Cramped Accommodations

by skybound2



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-14
Updated: 2011-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:25:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybound2/pseuds/skybound2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike and Buffy find themselves in a cramped situation while on the hunt for a demon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cramped Accommodations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Always_jbj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Always_jbj/gifts).



> **Title** : Cramped Accommodations  
>  **Characters:** Spike, Buffy (one-sided Spike/Buffy)  
>  **Timeline:** Takes place mid-season 5ish (sometime pre-Crush)  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Word count:** ~300  
>  **Author's Note:** Written for **alwaysjbj** who asked for a Buffyverse drabble about 'running/hiding from some enemy and having to depend on each other.' I don't now how much 'depending on each other' they are doing in here, but I tried. Also, the muse demanded that this be an all dialogue ficlet. My apologies. Hope you like!

"Spike?"

"Yeah, Slayer?"

"You have exactly five seconds to detach your hand from my ass, before I detach it from your body."

"Wha- as if I – it's not like I **want** to...to touch...your...you... In case you haven't noticed, our accommodations are a bit cramped."

"Really, Spike? I wonder why that is? Hmm...let me think. A-ha! I've got it! Could that be because we're stuck **in a coffin**!"

"To be fair, it's more of a sarcophagus..."

"Not. The. Point. Spike."

"And whose brilliant idea was it to hid out in here in the first place!"

"Excuse me? _I_ wasn't the one that decided to tick off the loofa demon-"

"Lutaceous demon, love."

"Still not the point, Spike!"

"Well pardon me for having a difficult time _finding_ it with all the yapping around it you're doin'."

"Yapping? Yapping! You think _this_ is yapping?"

"Well, ye- _ah_. That's what the bleeding from my ears seems to indicate. I met a harpy once with a less shrill voice than you. "

"Oh – you did not – you are such – ugh! You know what? You're lucky that I can't reach my stake right now, or I'd have a lot more elbow room, and you'd fit in a dustbuster."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can sing me the next verse to that tune once Mister Tall, Dark, and Filthy decides to relocate. You're gonna need me to help take him, and his clan, down. And you know it. 'S why you invited me along, remember?"

"Don't remind me." *sigh* "Fine. But this truce is only temporary. You do anything else to piss me off, and you're meeting the business end of Mr. Pointy."

"..."

"Spike?"

"Yeah, Slayer?"

"I thought I said to remove your hand from my ass, not _rub it in circles_."

"Yeah, well - never did take direction very well."

"Five, four, three, two..."

~End

**Author's Note:**

>  **Update:** This ficlet was recently nominated over at [Sunnydale Awards](http://sunnydawards.dragonydreams.com/nominees.html) for Best Comedy. Thank you, Anon, for the nomination!  
> 
> 
>   
> 


End file.
